I'm really into you.

some notes on HJNTIY

This movie was bad (not surprising!) - the kind of bad that drains your brain. I got lost immediately after leaving the theater in a neighborhood I know well and work in and my friend Megan, who I saw the movie with, is now subscribing to a conspiracy theory that these movies are made to make women more dumb. I'll buy it. Why was I compelled to see this movie? Is it a self hatred thing?

I feel like even writing out the full title of the movie is a waste of time.

I think it goes without saying that this movie, and the characters, and the intended audience are DESPERATE! That is the big word. This movie is basically like making a motion picture out of any given issue of Cosmo. Desperate bordering on pathetic and offensive, decidedly unfeminist, but I kind of want to check it out anyway.

Is Ben Affleck depressed? This is the only thing that's really stuck with me about the movie. I am really worried about Ben. He, not his character, seemed totally brutally depressed in the movie. Seeming kind of disinterested and melancholy even when he wasn't supposed to. I checked his wikipedia and he seems totally bummed out in his picture. What's up? J-Lo? His children? Matt Damon being more successful? Something deeper? I want to know. Apparently the fact that he has a child depresses J-Lo. Still wondering about him. I used to not like him at all. Now I really care for the man.

Ben is actually one of the most redeeming parts of the movie. He made me cry. I don't want to give it away (not that it matters, is anyone else going to see this movie? Ever?) but it's the end of the movie..there were some break ups, some reconciliation, some realizing that making someone else happy makes you happy, some compromises and Ben, the saddest man, does something that made me cry. I know it was stupid and they were just playing me. The scene was made to make me cry. I looked over at Megan, who was also crying - Why is this happening?

"It's just a really romantic gesture"!

Anyway, Here are some notes. I can't spend anymore time thinking about this movie to turn it into an essay:

Why is Drew Barrymore in this movie? Because she executive produced it and wanted to be in it acting like she does in every movie (herself) and wearing clothes she likes. And because it allows Ricki from My So Called Life to have a little cameo.

How is I am a Mac an actor? I can't stand looking at him. Very weird head. He is the one giving out golden advice like, "HJNTIY" and kind of driving this movie! Imagine that!

Scar Jo - She is just the worst. Some one really needs to tell her she is not Marilyn. Sorry! If you're looking for a vulptuous retro-ish babe I really don't see any reason to go anywhere but to Christina Hendricks. ScarJo is of course, the bad girl pursuing a married man. She also plays a struggling singer and yoga instructor, which is disgusting. She had an album, remember? If you saw Vicki Christina Barcelona, she is pretty much the same character but worse.

Why is dude from Entourage in the movie? I don't know. Kind of unnecessary.

Is Jennier Aniston kind of playing herself? She's really wanting to get married, her boyfriend of many years (Ben) doesn't believe in marriage. She is continually a bridesmaid..

Jennifer Connelly is really beautiful!

Bill Z'bub (Bradley Cooper) is there and has this exchange with ScarJo:
SJ: You have an ass that makes me want to dry hump.
BZB: I think I just fell in love.

THEN Scar Jo jumps in a public, gym pool. Naked.

There's no sex in this movie, which is a guess surprising? It's implied, it starts, but it's never seen.

The all white cast of this movie lives in Baltimore, this really cool place where everyone has a really nice apartment!

The apartments, by the way, where totally wack. I've never known any single men in there 20s -30s to have super designed apartments that look like a silver version of the Bridge on Enterprise in Star Trek TNG or a men's razor commercial

Every apartment had a lot of undergraduate painting major Art Skool Art in it. Is it supposed to be MICA student work they bought on the cheap? Or is this what Art looks like now? Sad, existential Ben points out a one point that a particular painting was kind of depressing because it looks like a deflated breast. I was thinking the same thing. Love you, Ben.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT! They basically ask you, "Hey, mind if I have an American Spirit? Want one?"

Ginnifer Goodwin's character was the way way WAY over the top Single Straight Woman Overly Eager to Find a Mate. She is continually putting herself out there, doing "stupid shitty things"(her words) and acting completely crazy. And, I mean she is acting crazy but everything she is thinking and doing is a hyperbolic version of something you and I have thought/done. So that's embarrassing. With her character there is an inevitable mental checklist of some maybe insane things people do to CONNECT. You know it is stupid and not real. But still, I'm thinking - I've done that. I've thought about doing that. Wondering...are they going to order another drink?

They make GG, whose characters name is GiGi wear really weird frumped out fug clothes, too. Why? She is so cute.

What a horrible movie! I just wasted your time if you read this.